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Kelleher's All-Time Woodhurst XI
 Having just read the All Time XI in FourFourTwo magazine, and with far too much time on his hands, woodhurstfc.co.uk's very own Mike Kelleher started wondering who would be in his All Time Woodhurst XI - a team to take on anyone (at least in the Essex/East London area on a Sunday morning!).
Here's who Kelleher, a Woodhurst legend in his own right, selected…
Goalkeeper - Austen Cornell. The big man first appeared for Woodhurst at the end of season Southport tour in 1997. He then went on to be Paul Parris' number one over the following two seasons. As far as I know he is the only Woodhurst player to have played against England (yes that's the England football team) facing the likes of Gary Lineker and Peter Beardsley as a late substitute for Aylesbury Town in a World Cup warm-up match prior to England setting off to Italia 90. A mysterious character who entered the prison service after graduating from Edge Hill College. Present whereabouts unknown.
 Right Back - Jason Fullerton. No debate about this one, the Fruit Man has been wearing the number two shirt for over twelve years. The tough tackling full back has claret and blue blood and has often been the last one in the Nightingale on a Sunday afternoon/evening trying to convince team mates to stay or go with him to the 'Duke. Only two players have played more times and Woodhurst without Jason would be like apples without oranges!
Left Back - Tony Taylor. Tony the Tank gets the nod over Johnny Palmolive (aka Andy Yeoman) at left back. The Tank has put in many quality Sunday morning performances since his debut back in 1995 weighing in with his fair share of goals as well. A former social secretary, though never really drank enough to do that role justice, left the club in 1999 to be with his girlfriend but saw the error of his ways and is now enjoying his football at Parmiters once more.
 Centre Backs - Wayne Alexander and Paul Jones. Woodhurst has been blessed over the years with some quality central defenders and this was the most difficult choice. Paul Parris, Russell Phillips, Matt Gaughan, Paul McShea and Bash were all possibilities here but this pairing in my opinion would compliment each other well. Wayne, a former Brighton & Hove Albion trainee played on and off for Woodhurst for over 9 seasons and was voted Players' Player of the year in 1991-92.
Jonah made his debut during the 1997-98 season joining Woodhurst as part of the FA staff XI influx. Neither player could drink but both could play and they get in this team on ability alone.
Right Midfield - Chidi Ibekwem. For nine years Chidi wore the Woodhurst number seven shirt and was the first player to score 100 goals, his record of one goal in every two games speaks volumes for his contribution to the team. With little brother Erik (the ballboy) was a Woodhurst institution throughout the 90's. More often than not was a Nightingale absentee which prompted the Bill Kelleher catchphrase "where's Chidi?" which no doubt had much to do with the legendary caught on tape catchphrase - "That's Piss Poor Chidi!!".
 Left Midfield - Ryan Houlton. Ryan brings us back to what this club is all about - good players and good drinkers! The flame haired warrior first came to a Woodhurst training session (back in the days when Woodhurst had training sessions) in 1998, with his mate (who's name escapes me!). It wasn't long before Ryan (and his mate) were Woodhurst regulars both on and off the pitch. A skillful right footed player who was utilised on the left side throughout the double winning season of 1999-2000 the year he also won Players' Player of the year. Some of Ryan's best performances however were reserved for the Cuckfield and later in O'Neill's as the WFC Sunday drinking crew was whittled down to the usual suspects. Ryan is most famous for introducing the phrase "going for a rinse" to the Woodhurst dressing room, though is infamous for continuing the use of the phrase handed down through generations of Woodhurst players of "Ill pay you next week" when asked for subs.
 Centre Midfield - Jimmy Woodham and Billy Saunders. Jimmy Woodham - no question, makes the team. 300+ appearances (must now be getting near 400) over 100 goals and has played in every Woodhurst season in its history. A look back over early Woodhurst team photos sees an array of Woodham haircuts - from 16 year old side parting to early 90's Gazza crop. Jimmy has grown with the team and is now the Gaffer. My bet is the Buffalo will be the first and probably only player to play 500 games.
Billy Saunders - is perhaps the biggest surprise selection, the likes of Mark Stack, Roy Lawley, Jan Souleyman and once more Paul McShea came close and I didn't want to pick myself, but those that played alongside Billy will know what a good player he was. Billy has played for most of the decent semi-pro teams in the East London area and how he ended up playing for us for just under two seasons between 1992 and 1994 is beyond me.
 Centre Forwards - Jamie Bradbury and Robert Cooper. "Goals pay the Rent" and these two know where the onion bag is. Jamie was talked into joining Woodhurst during a week long trip to France for the World Cup in 1998. He reluctantly came along to have a look and now finds himself as Club Secretary and is responsible for Woodhurst being online - that aside Bradbury became the third player to score 100 goals, doing it in record time in less than 100 games.
Every club has a fabled striker from years gone by - Dixie Dean at Everton, Vic Watson at West Ham to name two. Woodhurst are no exception. Robert Cooper, a Sunday morning football journeyman/oracle played for Woodhurst over three seasons in two spells, playing his first game in 1989 and his last in 1992. Cooper's goals per games ratio betters that of Bradbury's (though the latter's being achieved in the modern era) 72 goals in just 49 games. Holds the record for most goals in a Woodhurst game, scoring 8 in 1991-92, when he was the Club's Player of the Season.
 Substitute - Paul McShea. Had Paul played in one position over his fifteen years as a Woodhurst player it would be easy to name him in the starting XI, however the middle Woodhurst McShea (Keith and Mark also playing for WFC) has played everywhere, including goalkeeper, in just under 300 appearances. Macca is the only player still playing who played in Woodhurst's first ever game in June 1988 where he scored four as centre forward. He then played as a right or left sided midfielder before becoming the first choice right-back prior to going to university and the Fullerton years. In more recent times Paul has been utilised at centre midfield and both centre and left back. His exploits off the field have also been noteworthy and was the first Woodhurst player to publicly throw up (in the Monkhams pub - pre Nightingale Woodhurst) for achieving Dick of the Day - for which he was awarded Dick of the Day of the season!
If you have any thoughts about Mike's choices, why not join the debate on the Woodhurst FC forum or email [email protected] with your Woodhurst All Time XI.
Alternatively, if you can't be arsed to write about 11 players, just write about one or two, or any other memorable Woodhurst story and send it to the same address. We'll be sure to - eventually - publish your submission…
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